i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
