We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize