We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
