My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
