i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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