Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
