I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
