I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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