ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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