This is not my ceiling
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
