I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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