that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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