drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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