why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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