wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
