I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
