ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
