the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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