did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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