Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
