the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
