your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
