just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
