You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
