So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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