I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
