idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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