yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
