Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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