Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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