Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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