I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
