Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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