Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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