the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
