And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
