I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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