My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
