I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
false alarm. still invincible.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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