i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
