Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
