it glows. i had to have it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
