need another drink. this is the easiest way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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