I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I died a long time ago.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
