There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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