I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize