I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I looked at my own cervix.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You took a bar mat shot.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
