Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize