I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize