he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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