I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
