ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
