Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
