After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
