We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize