Your tits are I can't wait for
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
