i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
