I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
