omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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