I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
