All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i've created a new STD.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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