Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
