She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
