Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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