my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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