did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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